-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Re: T-shirts
Date: Sun, 11 Jun 2000 17:47:56 +0100 (BST)
From: simon@profero.com
To:Yapc Europe
> > noo meeja hor was better (and closer to the actual annunciation).
>
> Excuse me folks, what does it mean - noo meeja hor?
>
'nu meeja hor', for those in the dark, is a munging of 'New Media Whore'. Used to
describe those like myself who use our powers for evil by prostituting ourselves
to Dot.Com or New Media companys.
I don't know why it's spelt like that (or the other variants). I seem to
remember that Mark Thomas (of Comedy Product fame - http://www.mtcp.co.uk) used
to wear a T-shirt that said 'meeja hor' (or sometimes 'mor hor') on it. Maybe
that's where it came from.
http://www.fnord.demon.co.uk/mt/meejahor.html (WARNING! Bad MIDI!)
Variants of the spelling include combinations of 'noo' and 'medja' and omissions of the spaces.
nu meeja hors tend to subscribe to one or more of the following mailing lists
- ( void )
- (London|Croydon).pm
- Squackers
- Haddock
they probably also read NTK and TV Go Home
they probably feel frustrated ...
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Nu Meeja Hors
Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2000 12:13:14 +0100
From: Simon Wistow
To:xxx@profero.com
Meant to send this last week but have been a little busy.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/35/11556.html
A real Nathan Barley (http://thegestalt.org/simon/cunt/).
'...united by brands and media whose values fit their own.'
I mean ... who writes this stuff? Do they really, truly, believe in what they're
saying? If so what sort of society breeds that kind of person? And if not then
do they get up every mornign feeling disgusted with themselves? Do they stand in
front of the mirror in the morning, filled with self loathing, unable to look
themselves square in the eye because they've prostituted their integrity at some
brand orientate, buzzword driven, empty, hollow, worthless altar?
That one press release pretty much sums up everything that has gone wrong with
the internet since big business sunk its greedy talons into it.
Simon
[who's feeling grumpy this morning]
and ...
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Re: (void) Rationalists enquire within
Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2000 15:43:24 +0100
From: Simon Wistow
To: xxx@slab.org
> That might actually be quite hard, as 200 words is much less than you
> might think. When I free lanced for Future a typical page was 600 words
> plus screen shots, or 300 words and a 300 word boxout. 200 words on Linux,
> for and against, would only scratch the surface. But you know this.
Actually it didn't quite sink in until I hit 'send'. 200 words. I know
people with .sigs that scoff at mere 200 word limits. I mean, I've
written sentences that are longer than 200 words.
This is what ( void ) should do next - take over Future publishing. Hell
if I can get an interview the majority of people on this list could walk
a job. First we independently insinuate ourselves into the organisation.
According to their blurb sheet that they handed out at the 'graduate
assessment day' *YOU* too could be editor in just two years.
Imagine.
By the year 2002, highly skilled ( void ) operatives, working under
cover and using overtly false names, could control the monthly media on
such diverse subjects as 'Competitive Cross Stitching' and 'Wood Working
for Crypto-Facists' all the way across the spectrum (or amstrad) to
'Total Nihilistic Mega Spaz Game Hype Official Belligerence Rag Mag 4'
and 'Back Row Film Lovers Weekly'
By carefully inserting subliminal messages into the shiny backgrounds of
such overly designed titles as 'Edge' an unseen army of suburban, 20
something ninjas can be covertly brainwashed like so many CIA Manchurian
candidates.
Then! On a given signal (I would suggest a giant 'Hello Kitty')
projected onto the moon from our secret H.Q. hidden deep within the sleepy
spa town of Bath, our army would spring forth, clad in jet black dogis
(145 UKP from Dolce and Gabbana, 25 UKP rip-offs available from Monsoon,
Top Shop and Miss Selfridge) and eliminate our enemies, slaughtering
those who repeatedly press the door button on the tube, ruthlessly
murdering anybody with the words 'marketing' or 'I.T manager' in their
job titles.
Nathan Barleys everywhere would quake in fear as our deadly minions
creep ever close. closer. closer to their breeding grounds, encircling
them. outflanking them. trapping them until ...
until ...
until ...
* * POUNCE * *
The trap is sprung. They are herded towards Upper Street and forced to
run up it, their oh-so-trendy Acupuncture trainers slapping wetly off
the blood soaked cobbles, their eyes white with fear like so many
Spanish bulls whilst jeering on lookers throw rotten sushi and empty
bottles of Michelob at them.
Half way towards Highbury and Islington they come face to face with a
mob of Japanese business men and Russian Mafioso who have paid hard
currency to stand shoulder to shoulder with one another, a high powered
carbine tucked under their armpit, a large bucket of ammunition by their
feet and a special dispensation, from the puppet Prime Minister we have
installed, tucked into their inside pocket.
The day could be rounded off with festivities by the Thames. Free
barbecues, good music and a bong made out of the Dome, heated by the
trampled corpses of disinterested teenage YTS shoe store and sports
shops attendants with a reserve pile of anybody who wears Adidas
track suits, Reebok jumpers, large, gold plated hoop earrings and scraped
back, wet look, bubble permed hair.
People could pay 1 pound to take pot shots at Tony Blair's testicles as
he rotates slowly, bodge taped to one of the carriages of the London
Eye, the aforementioned gonads stretched out flat and nailed down with
a large target painted slap bang in the middle of each one like the two
red, angry eyes on the Tory poster during the last election.
Or I could just write the fricking 400 hundred words.
and finally ...
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Re: (UKR) Three things
Date: Tue, 04 Jul 2000 13:41:25 +0100
From: Simon Wistow
To: xxxx@xxxx.com
[snip]
QUESTIONNAIRE
LONGER QUESTIONS (50ish word answers)
1. What currently frustrates you in your work?
People (read marketing drones) steam rolling in to the Net and just
destroying 10 years of hard work and community because they arrive and
just don't get 'it' (tm). Then they try and change it to suit them and
they succeed because they have more money and more media clout. Then
they strut around like they own the place pretending they understand
Internet 'trends' and spouting off buzzwords like they know what they
actually mean and when they can't think of one to use they make one up
(Superstitital? Rich Media? Extranet?!!! What the hell is an Extranet?).
Why do we have web forums? What was wrong with Usenet? etc etc.
2. What's exciting you at the moment (web-related, please!)
Nothing. Absolutely fuck all. It's all shite. WAP is crap. MHEG is crap.
CSS is doomed to fail. Mozilla is too little too late.
3. Where do you get creative inspiration from?
Music. And http://www.spesh.com/danny/wireduk/index.html. Which should
be required reading for all school children.
4. What advice would you give a newcomer to the industry?
Get out. Now. Seriously though, it's no longer the brave new world that
it once was. It's just the same old marketing ideas rehashed and given a
lick of paint.
5. What's the biggest red herring (over hyped technology or trend) at the moment, and why?
WAP. And MHEG. And DHTML. And CSS. Interactive TV could have been good
but the standards are just so bad.